Identify the Signs: Are You in a Toxic Relationship?

A few days ago, I came across an article about so-called "toxic people". I found the article incredibly interesting and important, and I immediately had the urge to write about it myself. The topic is certainly not an easy one and is very complex, which is why this article invites discussion.

The Impact of Toxic People: How They Drain Your Happiness

Toxic people drain your energy, they don't support you, they influence you negatively, make you feel bad, are constantly jealous, or may even want to blame you for everything.

Perhaps you know someone who simply doesn't do you good? Maybe they're even part of your close circle of friends or family and you don't know how to deal with them?

Letting Go with Strength: Practical Steps to Reclaim Your Life

The following two steps will help you change your relationship with other people. In the first step, start by recognizing what is and in the second step, decide what to do.

Step 1: First, clarify for yourself how you feel when you spend time with people

The first step is to recognize that you are dealing with a toxic person. This can be difficult, as toxic people often use manipulation and guilt-tripping to keep their victims in their lives. However, it is important to be honest with yourself about the situation.

Here are some signs that you may be dealing with a toxic person:

• Do you feel drained after meeting them?
• Do you constantly have to solve each other's problems?
• Do you fear seeing these people?
• Do you get angry, sad or angry when you are around them?
• Do they want to drag you into something you don't want?
• Do you feel misunderstood and not heard in your wishes?
  
• Do you feel used, maybe even humiliated?

You more than deserve to surround yourself with loving and great people. You don't have to continue to stay in this negative spiral.

If you recognize any of these signs in your relationships, it is important to take action.

Step 2: Discover a way to deal with toxic people

Of course, the best thing is to keep your distance from them. But that's easier said than done. Toxic people often have multiple facets. In the moments when you want to turn your back on them, they become totally understanding and loving and start to fight for you. But this peace doesn't last.

An important step is to first recognize that you are surrounded by a toxic person. It is important that you listen to your gut feeling. You shouldn't suppress a bad feeling, but take it seriously.

It becomes particularly difficult when this person keeps appearing in your close circle. This can be the case especially in circles of friends, among work colleagues or in your family. You simply cannot avoid these people.

Bonus Tip: How to Set Boundaries and Protect Yourself

Toxic people try to make you feel bad. But they only succeed if you let them. Try to face the situation confidently. Be aware of yourself and your strengths. And most importantly: don't take anything personally!

As soon as you take something personally and project it onto yourself, you only encourage the other person to continue. Your emotional reaction then becomes the other person's food. Adopting a neutral stance can be quite helpful. Otherwise, the fire will only continue to ignite. A vicious circle.

Protect yourself emotionally and physically. How about talking to your closest friends, colleagues and relatives. Can they perhaps help and support you?

Set clear boundaries. What to do if the situation seems to be escalating? Toxic people need clear statements. Try to stay calm, not to judge or get carried away by emotional statements. Leave the situation if you don't have a suitable answer at the moment and bring up the topic again when the situation has calmed down a bit.

There is a pretty helpful concept for having such a conversation called "CARS".

C = Connect with attention, empathy and respect: Speak the way you want to be spoken to. Be empathetic, attentive and respectful.

A = Analyze alternatives or options: Show the person what options there are. If the other person can choose between options, they are more likely to feel like they can make their own decisions and won't feel pressured by you.

R = Respond to misinformation and hostility: Answer in short sentences that contain only information, not emotion. Answer clearly and distinctly in a neutral, friendly tone

S = Set clear boundaries by seeking support from outside, for example, explaining why your time is limited.
Karl Marx put it in a few apt words:

"Surround yourself with people who make you happy. People who make you laugh, who help you when you're in need. People who genuinely care. They are the ones worth keeping in your life. Everyone else is just passing through." - Karl Marx

Author: Daniela Krüger